Spirituality vs Chaos
My spiritual life isn’t suffering just because chaos isn’t present.
Often times, I find myself needing “more” when my life is calm. My default response is that I’m not doing enough & that I need to fill the calm with more fight.
When there’s no hurdle to get over, no trial to overcome, no hardship to endure, I feel like I’m falling short somehow.
As someone that’s lived most of my life accustomed to self-made chaos, my flesh tends to find more comfort in it. So when I’m experiencing peace without a hardship, I question it and myself.
I think I even question God. Is He here? What’s going to happen next? What do I need to be fighting?
I’m grateful to have been taught that peace is God’s portion for me, and I don’t have to be scared of it. I don’t have to run from the calm.
Yes, trials will come, but they are not the measure of my faith. More hardships does not equal more faith.
Now, God does promise us peace in the midst of those trials – we love this. So I want to be careful not to confuse that with my discomfort in calm seasons.
Being aware of this struggle to embrace rest & calmness in my life is not enough. I have a lot of help available to me — Bible study group, therapy, sobriety community, and different tools that each of these groups have taught me. I try not to keep a lot to myself unless God says otherwise (and for me, He usually doesn’t lol).
Some of the tools I like best:
- I journal every night to sort through my day – my thoughts, motives, reactions, feelings.
- Praying OFTEN
- Studying the Word of God with my girls and asking questions when I’m confused.
- I have some go-to Scriptures that I say aloud to speak to discomfort with the will of God; in this case, peace/stillness/rest/calm
And little by little, I’m able to enjoy the calm seasons of my life without worrying about what’s next and when the other shoe will drop.
I have a feeling that I’m not the only person who goes through this, so I pray this helps at least one person embrace the peace of God in their life.
xoxoxo,
DASH
